And without further ado...
Friday was a normal day. I did SQUAT work in the morning and
took over kids in the afternoon. We got to play a bit with our favorite
neighbor Sofi before picking up the boys – Carter, and our friends Pancho and
Vince – at school. I brought them all to our house and made them popcorn and
all 4 kids spent 2 hours playing a game that had something to do with The
Hobbit, but I couldn’t quite follow it. At about 4:30, Vince’s dad picked him
up; then at 5 my dad arrived to pick up the kids for a pre-arranged sleepover,
and Ellie and Jeremy arrived to get Pancho.
Now a little background – Ellie is my dear friend and was my
next door neighbor when we both found ourselves rather surprisingly pregnant.
She texted me to come over one muggy night in May to tell me her news, and a
mere two weeks later I texted her a picture of my pregnancy test to help me
confirm that what I thought was a positive line was, indeed, that. In the
course of the next 9 months we shared the journey of pregnancy together – it’s
fears, pains, joys, anxieties, excitements, and daily complaints about
heartburn. We were both working with Amy, a homebirth midwife, and while we
joked often about being in labor at the same time, I think we all assumed Ellie
would have her baby before me.
Well, come January 16 and we were both pregnant. Ellie was
41 weeks 3 days, and I was 39 weeks 2 days. We saw each other at about 5 pm
when she picked up Pancho.
So the kids were gone with my dad and the house was still
and quiet. I joked with Rob about how we had the house to ourselves and said
that it would be awesome to just have the baby there together, alone. He
replied that it would be awesome, and I said that it would be a shame to
purposefully not call the midwife since we had paid the fee! Foreshadowing? Perhaps.
After spending some special time together (you get it), Rob
and I decided to have a nice walk to Miss Saigon, a restaurant about a mile
from our house. Almost as soon as we started walking, I was having some
cramping that I couldn’t quite interpret. I thought they could be contractions,
but this stage of pregnancy also came with plenty of Braxton Hicks
contractions, pelvic pressure, and general aches and pains. We walked through a
quiet neighborhood and then through the UA campus, past crowds heading into a
basketball game and a group of men playing soccer in the dark on the Mall. What
I suspected may be contractions soon showed themselves to be just that – every
few minutes I had a tightness in my lower abdomen accompanied by a slight pain
that wrapped itself around my lower back.
Some contractions I could just walk through – others made me stop
walking for a moment until they passed.
We got to dinner and enjoyed some delicious Pho. Since my
contractions were continuing I decided to order mine with meatballs to give me
some extra power. I continued to have contractions through dinner but they were
very mild—I was able to stay comfortably sitting at our table, eating and
chatting. I was secretly timing the contractions with an app on my phone, and
they were about 5-6 minutes apart.
Our walk home through more quiet streets brought more
contractions. Now I had to stop walking with each one as the tightness spread
through my back. Rob and I would be talking and walking together and all of a
sudden I would stop and he’d walk on a few steps before realizing I was stopped
behind him, sometimes crouching slightly or rubbing my back. Still, the
contractions did not feel strong. This was definitely an early labor feeling,
when I still felt totally capable of going on with regular activities.
At this point we hadn’t really discussed the contractions. I
could tell Rob was started to get excited, but I was hesitant to assume I was
in labor. In the almost 5 years since I’d last given birth I’d heard so many stories
about stopped and stalled labors that I was being very cautious. Also, I had
not had short labors in the past (36 hours with Carter, 12 with Hazel), so I
thought that even if I was having contractions, I would still have many hours
ahead of me to start getting excited and worked up.
We got home probably around 8 and started watching Parks and
Recreation on Netflix. We are on Season 2, this show is so hilarious! Since I
was continuing to have contractions, I sat on the ball and laughed at the show and
just sort of bent over another chair when I had contractions, which were now
4-5 minutes apart. By the second episode I needed Rob to put a lot of pressure
on my lower back during contractions, and by the third episode I was no longer
really paying attention to the show during contractions, though I do remember
that I laughed heartily through one contraction. Looking back, I wonder if
laughing so much at this stage in my labor helped things progress so quickly!
Sometime in the 2nd or 3rd episode, at
9:40 pm, I got a text from Ellie’s partner Jeremy, telling me that Ellie was in
labor and that her water had broken 20 minutes earlier. I couldn’t believe it. I
contemplated for a moment if I could/should get over there to be with Ellie. We
had hoped I could be there for her labor and birth. I texted our midwife Amy at
9:47 to let her know I was having contractions but that it still felt early.
After having some bloody show when I peed, and feeling like the contractions
were getting a little too strong to let me concentrate on Ellie, I decided that
it was best that I stay at home.
After our 3rd Parks and Rec episode we decided to
stop the Netflix binge watching and get some rest. Rob said something like,
“how are we going to rest? This is exciting!” but I stressed that we would
probably be up all night and that we should rest now while my contractions were
mild. At 10 pm I texted our doula Adelaide and photographer Jessica to let them
know I was having regular contractions but that I was going to get some rest
and be in touch with them later. I was really enjoying the quiet house with
just Rob and me, and was hesitant to start bringing people into our special little
bubble.
I exchanged a couple texts with Amy at 10:38 and then tried
to rest. I realized we had not sanitized our towels in the oven as we were
supposed to, so Rob put them in the oven while I took a short bath. I laid on
my side in the warm water and had some lovely contractions in the water; it was
very relaxing. After about 10-15 minutes I put on my cozy robe and got in bed. Once
I laid down in bed my contractions stopped for about 10 minutes and I thought
might have a chance to get some sleep.
Then I had another contraction, and it was of a very
different variety. Strong, rolling through my abdomen and back. I flipped onto
my hands and knees and stretched into a sort of child’s pose and grabbed the
sheets with my fingers. I was moaning and remember thinking, “oh I’m at the
part when I have to make noise during contractions.” Rob was not right next to
me for this contraction or maybe for the next one – maybe he was getting ready
for bed? Dealing with the towels? Not sure.
Rob got in bed with me and I had maybe 2-3 more strong
contractions on my hands and knees. Rob was putting pressure on my lower back
and I recognized labor – active labor – in these contractions. They took over
my whole body and left my moaning and wincing. I was very relaxed, though, as I
still felt like this was the beginning and I had a long way to go. After a
couple of these contractions, maybe 3-4 minutes apart, I sent a text to Amy at
11:14 saying, “coming faster and stronger”. I got a reply that Amy was busy and
I should communicate with Carolina at this point. (Carolina is a new midwife in
town who started working with Amy.) I was excited for Ellie because I assumed
that if Amy could not respond to me, things with Ellie must have been very
active (as it turns out, she was pushing when they received that text, her baby
was born at 11:18!).
I had 2-3 more strong contractions in my bed on my hands and
knees. I’d be on my side in between, then when I felt the tightness start to
spread to my back I would flip back over and guide Rob’s hands to the spot on
my back that needed the most pressure. Sensing that the contractions were
picking up, I texted Carolina at 11:26, saying “Contractions are very strong.
I’d love someone to stop over if possible.”
I was starting to feel a little queezy and thought I had to
go to the bathroom, so I headed into the small bathroom in the middle of our
house. Over the toilet I had an extremely hard contraction, and realized that
it was probably best to call in reinforcements. At this point I assumed I’d be
in this stage for hours, and I was still reluctant to have anyone come over,
but I realized that we needed more hands on deck to prepare for the birth. We
still needed to make the bed with the double set of sheets, and I had a box
full of beautiful birth affirmation and labor support signs from friends that I
wanted to hang all over the house to see during labor. I told Rob I was going
to tell Adelaide to come on over so she could help get those things done while
Rob stayed with me to help me through contractions.
I texted Adelaide at 11:29, saying simply “come on over”. I
remember I was kneeling on the bathroom floor w my phone resting on the closed
toilet.
Then I had a killer of a contraction. I found myself
kneeling—or standing?-with my hands on the edge of the bathtub. I remember
looking into water that I hadn’t drained from the tub as the contraction
wrapped around my body and I reached in to pull out the drain, thinking that I
was about to throw up and did not want to puke into the water. I didn’t throw
up, but I’m pretty sure I was leaving the calm confines of the low moan and
full on screaming as this contraction ripped through my body. Just after the
peak of the contraction my water broke like an exploding balloon, soaking the
bath mat under me and leaving the bathroom floor with a layer of fluid on it.
Almost immediately I had another huge contraction, gripping the edge of the
bathtub and yelling. Rob was there now. I felt like a wild animal, like I could
not connect with my body or ground at all. In my head I was telling myself to
stop screaming, to let myself breath, but my body felt completely out of control.
I started to feel a little lost and remember saying to Rob, “talk to me! Talk
to me!” and I think he was in a bit of shock by the sudden turn of events.
Wasn’t it just 30 minutes ago we were watching Parks and Rec???
Rob left the bathroom for a second, I’m not sure what he was
doing. I felt an incredible pressure and urge to push, but I was sure I was
fooling myself. In both of my previous labors I’d had a stage in which I
thought my labor was very serious, only to find I was 3-4 cm dilated with hours
left to go. To calm myself down I slid a finger into my vagina to see if I
could feel anything, and to my
great and incredible surprise, my finger only went about 2 knuckles in when I
felt my baby’s head.
“Rob!” I yelled, “I feel the head! Or I think it’s the head!
What else could it be? Is this the head?” I guided his hand to me and he felt
it too. I was stunned. I was racking my brain thinking of what else it could
be! But then it became clear to both of us that the baby was coming NOW.
I handed Rob my phone and he tried Carolina but there was no
answer. I knew they were busy with Ellie and my last communication had been
before the contractions got this intense, that no one was expecting my labor to
take this turn.
I told Rob the baby was coming and that we had to do it
ourselves. I’m pretty sure I just said, “do you have the towels” a million
times because I had no idea how else to prepare to have my baby in the
bathroom, I just knew we’d want a lot of towels. Luckily our towels were right
next to the bathroom and nice and warm since Rob had put them in the oven.
I had another contraction but did not push. I wanted to give
us one more contraction to get ready. This contraction was calmer because I
knew I was near the end. I had my hand between my legs and felt the baby’s head
get closer with the contraction.
I think we may have been laughing between contractions? We
were kind of in another state, getting ready to have our baby in this tiny
bathroom in the middle of our dark and silent house. I felt amazing. I had none
of the horrible physical and mental fatigue of a long labor – I was completely
awake and aware, I felt like every sense was heightened. It was thrilling.
I felt another contraction coming and I told Rob I was going
to push. I think I kept asking him if he was ready. I was kneeling against the
bathtub and Rob was in the doorway to the bathroom – this is a very small
bathroom, no room for the two of us.
The contraction came and I felt the sweet satisfaction of
pushing. I held one hand between my legs and felt the head emerge. My
contraction ended with the head out and Rob said, “one more push!”, but I told
him I’d need to wait till the next contraction. I felt around the neck to see
if the umbilical cord wrapped around, but I didn’t feel anything. I probably
asked Rob a few more times if he was ready and if he had the towels! We were
talking to one another constantly but I don’t recall what we were saying. There
were probably swear words involved.
The next contraction came and I pushed and out he came into
Rob’s hands. It was just that fast. I told Rob to pass the baby to me and we
had a short bit of maneuvering as Rob unrolled the baby from the cord, which
was wrapped loosely around his body a few times, and I sat back against the
bathroom floor. Before I even saw the baby I heard him give a great, wonderful,
cry, and then he was in my arms with a towel wrapped around him. I was talking
constantly – “my baby boy! My baby boy!” and he was crying and gurgling.
Rob sat next to me and we shared the moments together, in
this dark quiet house with our baby that came just to us. I think I said a lot
of swear words. I was stunned and thrilled and relieved and so proud of all of
us.
Rob checked the clock and declared the baby born at 11:38.
At 11:41 Carolina called to say she was on the way and Rob told her the baby
was born. Rob went to get us another warm towel and I checked my phone and say
that at 11:37 Ellie’s sister Catherine sent me a picture of Ellie holding her
baby while they cut the cord. I took a selfie – probably my favorite selfie
EVER – of me and the baby in the bathroom and sent it to her at 11:47, with the
words, “Rob caught the baby in the bathroom!”
Within moments Carolina arrived and ran into Adelaide
outside and told her the baby was here. They came in together and very quickly
assessed me and the baby. Adelaide jumped right in as Carolina’s make-shift
assistant. Carolina gave the baby a little backrub to help get fluid out of his
lungs. I glanced at my phone and saw that Jessica had texted to say her photo
bag was packed and she was ready to go when she heard from me, and I wrote her
back at 11:49, writing, “Oh my fucking god. Rob just caught our baby in the bathroom.”
At some point I realized at that I was starting to shiver… I
was naked on the bathroom floor in a puddle of various fluids, and my butt hurt
and I was very very cold. With someone on each side of me we got up and waddled
into the bedroom while I held the baby (I think Rob had hopped up and made the
bed? Not sure).
I was in a haze of pure relief and shock and joy as more
assistants arrived and all of the post-birth assessing started happening. They
kept asking for towels and I kept saying that we used them, ya know, when our
baby was born! Everyone was happy. I felt so alert and aware and just in
absolute awe. I delivered the placenta once I was in the bed, and the baby
latched for the first time just after midnight.
The midwives and team were at our house for about 4 hours –
assessing me and the baby, taking photographers, brewing coffee, making me
eggs. They cleaned the bathroom! They washed the towels! They were like little
elves hard at work in my house while Rob and I sat with our baby. Amy arrived
from Ellie’s house and met our baby and gave me some bling to hold together the
tear I sustained when the baby came out. The team was amazing and I also
couldn’t wait for them to leave! When Carter was born I felt panicked when the
midwife got ready to go, but that night with Rob and our baby boy, I just
wanted to return to those peaceful minutes after his birth when it was just the
three of us.
So finally, after all the assessments had been made, the
cord cut, the baby weighed (7 pounds 8 ounces), and everyone deemed to be doing
well, the team packed up their bags and headed home. Rob and I settling into
bed with our baby boy and tried to get the rest we could before our bustling,
wonderful, and very loud children were scheduled to return home the next
morning.
The next day, with the help of Carter and Hazel, we named
him Emery Corson McLane.
Emery's Birth, text timeline:
9:47, to Amy:
“Hey lady! I hear you’re at Ellie’s! In a case of perfect
timing I’ve been having contractions for about 3 hours…. I’m going to stick at
home and keep you posted.”
10:09 to Adelaide (doula) and Jessica (photographer): “I’ve
been having pretty regular contractions for a couple of hours. Not too intense
but consistent! Kids are at a sleepover at my dad’s, Rob and I are just hanging
out. I’m going to rest and I’ll let you know if things continue!”
10:30: to Amy:
“I am so sad not to be there with Ellie! … Some bloody show
just now when I peed.”
10:36: From Amy: “Ellie asks about you…;)”
10:38: “Tell her I’m having contractions but I’ll let her go
first. J “
11:14, to Amy: “coming faster and much stronger”
got a reply to text carolina’s phone; Ellie was pushing
11:26, to Carolina: “Contractions are very strong. I’d love
someone to stop over if possible.”
11:29, to Adelaide: “Come on over”
11:32 – called Carolina, no answer
11:38: picture from Catherine of Ellie w baby, cutting cord
11:41 – talked to Carolina, she was on her way
11:46, from Jessica: “My gear is packed and waiting by my
front door! Let me know how things progress! Use your judgement on when to have
me come!”
11:47, picture to Catherine of me and baby, “Rob caught the
baby in the bathroom”
11:49, to Jessica: “Oh my fucking god. Rob just caught our
baby in the bathroom.”
